Fat forward to the year 2056: New America. We're in the midst of nuclear winter and most of what we held dear has been destroyed. Yet America remains undeterred. We're rebuilding, becoming bigger, faster and stronger. Violence and rampant consumerism continue to reign supreme, only more so. Rabid religious zealots have put the bark back into dogma with a passion not seen since the Crusades.

Football fields are now the size of small cities and mega-stores like CheapCo are the only place to shop...but with parking lots the size of time zones, there's plenty of room for everyone. Asses are exceeded only by the size of their Monster SUVs.

Welcome to Big Ass America. We've finally gotten past the wussiness of gun control so everyone is packing heat. Getting shot is no big deal anyway. A quick stop at the local Bullet Removal Clinic and you're good as new.

Don't miss Big Ass America where Gary Barker and his best friend Hugh Claggler embrace the warped values of this society of excess.

Don't touch that dial, Porky, 'cuz it's big, it's America and it's ASS.